is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
