There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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