I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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