I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
