Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
