Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i dont even know how to be here
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
