the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Your penis caused this!
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