And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
