I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize