I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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