She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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