i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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