Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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