The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
