I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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