Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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