I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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