i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
