dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
