Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
