So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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