Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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