I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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