Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
