Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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