As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
