There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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