uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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