Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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