are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
