were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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