Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize