I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
