To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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