I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
