I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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