Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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