Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
