I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
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My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
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I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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