this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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