Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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