dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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