I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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