a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
