You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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