only if we run a train.
done.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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