Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize