haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
