It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
