Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You can't motorboat a personality
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
