She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
