3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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