those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just had sex bonerless
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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