Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I currently don't understand fingers.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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