I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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