i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize