I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
