I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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