I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
